Have My Heart
I came into the world full of heart. I was full of heart and my heart was full of love. I had this one heart. It’s the only heart I’ve got. There’s only one like it. I knew that it was valuable. I could feel it. I knew that it was wanted. I could feel that too.
Mistaking value for currency I went out into the world with the best thing I had to offer to see what it would buy and as time went by I realized, it didn’t buy much at all. Standing at the counter, attempting to be cultural, I offered this world the very best of me and it said:
“Meh. What else you got?” So I gathered up my talents, I over-extended myself, maxing out my time I hoarded treasure and hauled it to the counter and that wasn’t enough so I taxed my resources and tempted the fates and tried my best. I woke up early and I stayed up late and I tested my intellect and I trained my heart not to hope. I tricked it into silence. I told my heart to shut up and sit still and my hands to do anything I thought would matter. Anything I thought would make a difference. Nothing was ever enough.
But He called to me. And He said that He wanted my heart. And I told Him “no.” I said “You don’t want that, let me give you something that matters. Here, take this talent. Why don’t you accept my worship? How about You have Your way with my bank account? You can have my time. You can have ALL of my time You want. Take this song, or that blog, take some dinner, come with me on this mission’s trip, let’s go feed the homeless. Let me lock myself in the prayer closet or visit the hospital. Let me give you something that will be useful to You. You do not want this heart. It’s been tossed around like trash, caught and released so many times it is carved out with fissures from fish hooks. It’s been worn and wasted and weighed in the balance and found lacking. It’s been cast carelessly out of car windows, returned to me as an afterthought, left untouched in display windows as every one picked over every thing and chose to chase everything and everyone else. You do not want this heart. Let me give you something worthy. You do not want this heart.”
But He did.
The thing this world screams will never matter, is the only thing that does.
The thing that nobody else wanted is the only thing He needs.
I begin to think maybe, I could give Him my heart.
It’s the only one I’ve got. It is the only one like it.
I wonder, would He take it, in pieces?